Headache City

I started out about 6 years ago with a nasty headache every so often. I can remember one particular time that it was literally on one half of my head. Over the years, the headaches began coming monthly. I attributed it to a surge in hormones. I have read that it can trigger headaches.

When these headaches would start, it was a dull ache. Over the past few years, I have recognized the signs and to take something right away if it was available. If not, the headache would become a horrible pounding. I would get nauseated, but not sick. Whenever these headaches occur, all I want to do is sleep. Usually, sleep will knock out most of the pain.

I remember a hot, sunny day last October, and I got the start of a headache. I attributed it to being I. The sunny weather, and drank as much water as I could. I didn't have anything on me to take for my headache, so I just took on the pain. I was camping with my family that weekend, and had to drive 2 hours by myself that night to get home. It was so bad that I prayed that I got home safely.

I can usually predict when the next headache will occur. Like clockwork, it has been pretty regular. Last month, I noticed I did not get one at the regular time. So I was doing a happy dance on the inside, celebrating the fact that I didn't have a headache.

I spoke too soon. Not only did I get one within day's of me noticing, I also got 3 more. Plus nausea with it. Those 4 days were awful.

So, then last week, I ended November with a nasty headache and started December with one. This time, dizziness accompanied the headaches. I finally decided I needed to call the doctor to make an appointment. C asked what took me so long. I was hopeful that I could take care of them on my own. But I can't anymore. It's affecting my life.

Yesterday was the latest headache. I was fine until 6 last night and then BAM! It knocked into me, made me feel funny, get dizzy, and have nausea. I felt like I could collapse at any given moment.

I've had a couple of nights where I wish I didn't live alone. Last night being one of them. I was scared that something would happen to me. I called C and cried on the phone to him , because I was so scared. Eventually, I calmed down. We talked about things, kind of took my mind off if it. When we got off the phone, I fought the nausea/dizziness, rolled over and fell asleep until 5 this morning.

I am scared. It's hard not to be when the headaches are getting worse. But hopefully I have some answers Monday afternoon.

So Incredibly Thankful

It's hard to believe that about 6 months ago, we had no idea if/when C was coming home. It was all up in the air, big time. As I reflect on what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving, he is one of the most people I am thankful for. This is his first Thanksgiving home in about 3-4 years, let alone his first holiday on the actual date in just that many years.

If he wasn't here, we would have made it work, like we always have. But given everything that has happened, I am so incredibly thankful he is here to share it with us. My goal was to go down there for Thanksgiving, and his family got on board with it. We are all going to spend time with him, which makes me so happy.

I am so thankful to have him in my life. He is everything I never knew I wanted.

Christmas Wreath

I am posting my wire hanger Christmas wreaths. I found it on pinterest and thought I would do my own.

Step 1: get a wire hanger and bend it into a circle.

Step 2: hot glue all the ends of the caps to ensure they stay in place.

Step 3: untwist the hanger part to put the ornaments on. You can use different sizes of ornaments, but I wanted them all the same size.

Step 4: put the ornaments on how you want them, sliding them on the hanger via their little hook.

Step 5: hot glue the ornaments to your liking.

(this is where I am so far.)

Christmas

This year, I am giving homemade gifts. I just cannot afford to go spend lots of money on people. I feel better about giving homemade gifts. So far, I am working on a ceramic tile and a candle warmer. Both are being zentangled using paint pens. I have been wanting to zentangle on ceramic tiles for awhile now, but didn't know what to use. I hit the idea from a blog post of a CZT last night. As of now, this is what both projects look like.

*update*
I messed up on both, but fixed the candle holder.

Update 2: I finished a DIY dry erase calendar using paint chip samples, tape, some tacky glue, and a 16x20 frame. For the first one ever, it's okay. There are things I would do different for the next time.

I also am getting ready to make a n ornament wreath. So I have included pics of that so far.

Update 3: I have hot glued 18 ornaments to the wire hanger. I am all out of ornaments until I get more.

A Sad Goodbye

A former teacher of mine, who just happened to be my 4th grade teacher found out she had cancer a few months ago. At that time, they didn’t give her long to live. When I had her as a teacher, she was probably early 60’s.

Through out the years, I stayed in contact with her. She came to my high school graduation party, and I saw her off and on after that. She was such an amazing teacher, one who truly enjoyed what he did. I will always remember her for being so positive, upbeat, friendly, kind, caring, warm to her students. She truly was a teacher you went to. We all loved her.

When she passed away, I cried. She is a part of why I became a teacher. Her dedication to her students, to doing what she loved is a testament to us all. Her memorial was yesterday. I went with my dad and sister. Not only was she my teacher, she was also my neighbor down the road, and my dad grew up with her children.

While at the memorial, I was looking at a book on a table that said to leave a memory of her. I happened to look down and I saw a bunch of letters that students had written to her over the years. I was half-hoping, half-wondering if I’d find a letter from me. And it just so happens that I did. I read what I wrote back to my sister, and she kind of laughed at times at the 4th grade handwriting and language that I used. In it, I basically thanked her for being a really great teacher. I told her she would always be my favorite teacher, no matter what grade I went to (and now, where I am at in life). I told her she was the best teacher in the world.

The things I wrote of back then- are the same things I basically still think about to this day. They still hold true. She left her footprints on many students’ hearts, mine included. While we lost a truly great teacher down here, Heaven gained a very amazing teacher up there.

How Do You Decide?

My sister is going through a bunch of her childhood personal items. They have been in storage in a room they weren’t using for anything but that. The room is now being turned into a bedroom for my oldest nephew. She wasn’t sure of what to get rid of, and so she posed the question the other day, “How do you decide what to keep and what to get rid of?”

I know how she feels, because I have to do the same thing. It’s not that I hold onto that stuff- things from my childhood because I think I’m going to decorate my apartment with it. No, I keep it because I think, “What if I someday have a daughter? Some of this could go in her room.” And part of it is because I don’t know what was my grandmother’s (now deceased), or what my parents had given me as a gift when I was a child. I asked my mom to sit down with me someday and go through it all. I’m sure it will still be hard, but it will be needed. It’s just taking up space that could be used for other things.

It is a tough choice, deciding what to get rid of, and deciding what stays. The same goes with Facebook. I go through my friends’ list every so often and ask myself, “How do I know who stays and who goes?” I hate offending anyone, but at the same time, if we don’t interact, there is no point in being friends.

I'm not the type of person that keeps people on Facebook just to see what they are doing in life. I use it as a way of keeping in touch with people, but I don’t want that to be my only form of communication with them. For most, I communicate with them in life, as well. I do have classmates on there that I thought would be nice to keep in touch with. Have I, though? No. So I just went through my friends list, and deleted anyone that I haven’t talked to in quite a long time. I feel bad about doing it (at least one was a good friend at one time-but we haven’t spoken in quite awhile), but it’s just unnecessary people knowing more about things in my life. I don’t mean to say it that way, but it’s true. And I’m okay with a smaller list. I don’t need to have everyone on my list, anyway.

My mom and I were just talking about that last night. It’s scary how much people put out there on Facebook- not something I am trying to do. However, I do know I take lots of pictures of my nephews. Mostly, it’s for my mom and sis, who aren’t as familiar as I am with uploading pictures. I think I will eventually edit some out. Just way too many pictures of them out there.

Facing Fear

In life, there are certain things that we always fear. But we are all programmed differently, so that we don’t all fear the same thing-s-. (Side note, every time I tried to put the s in parentheses, it gave me a moon, and I didn’t want that. )

I do believe we are meant to face those fears at some point in our lives. For awhile, I had a fear of death. Then my Grandfather died, and I stopped fearing the unknown. I began to be okay with death. Because it’s not a final goodbye. I will see my loved ones again.

Another fear I have is spiders.

As I sit here and type, I am not sure if a small one went into my laptop or not. He came down from the ceiling and I swatted him, and now I am not sure where he went. Normally, I’d be away from here, refusing to return until he made HIS return. I have chills at the moment just thinking about him. That always happens when I see a spider. However, I am facing my fear and sitting here.

Or, I used to be afraid of thunderstorms, always thinking that storm would lead to something worse. Don’t get me wrong, when we had bad weather this summer, it was scary. But I wasn’t afraid. I stopped fearing storms a few years ago. I don’t really like them, but I can deal with them a lot better.

I think when I was younger and afraid of certain things, it didn’t allow me to enjoy other things in life. By facing my fears, I have found a new appreciation for things in life, I have gained strength. I may not like something, but it doesn’t mean that I can’t do it, push myself to get around that fear so I am not afraid anymore.