How Do You Decide?

My sister is going through a bunch of her childhood personal items. They have been in storage in a room they weren’t using for anything but that. The room is now being turned into a bedroom for my oldest nephew. She wasn’t sure of what to get rid of, and so she posed the question the other day, “How do you decide what to keep and what to get rid of?”

I know how she feels, because I have to do the same thing. It’s not that I hold onto that stuff- things from my childhood because I think I’m going to decorate my apartment with it. No, I keep it because I think, “What if I someday have a daughter? Some of this could go in her room.” And part of it is because I don’t know what was my grandmother’s (now deceased), or what my parents had given me as a gift when I was a child. I asked my mom to sit down with me someday and go through it all. I’m sure it will still be hard, but it will be needed. It’s just taking up space that could be used for other things.

It is a tough choice, deciding what to get rid of, and deciding what stays. The same goes with Facebook. I go through my friends’ list every so often and ask myself, “How do I know who stays and who goes?” I hate offending anyone, but at the same time, if we don’t interact, there is no point in being friends.

I'm not the type of person that keeps people on Facebook just to see what they are doing in life. I use it as a way of keeping in touch with people, but I don’t want that to be my only form of communication with them. For most, I communicate with them in life, as well. I do have classmates on there that I thought would be nice to keep in touch with. Have I, though? No. So I just went through my friends list, and deleted anyone that I haven’t talked to in quite a long time. I feel bad about doing it (at least one was a good friend at one time-but we haven’t spoken in quite awhile), but it’s just unnecessary people knowing more about things in my life. I don’t mean to say it that way, but it’s true. And I’m okay with a smaller list. I don’t need to have everyone on my list, anyway.

My mom and I were just talking about that last night. It’s scary how much people put out there on Facebook- not something I am trying to do. However, I do know I take lots of pictures of my nephews. Mostly, it’s for my mom and sis, who aren’t as familiar as I am with uploading pictures. I think I will eventually edit some out. Just way too many pictures of them out there.

Facing Fear

In life, there are certain things that we always fear. But we are all programmed differently, so that we don’t all fear the same thing-s-. (Side note, every time I tried to put the s in parentheses, it gave me a moon, and I didn’t want that. )

I do believe we are meant to face those fears at some point in our lives. For awhile, I had a fear of death. Then my Grandfather died, and I stopped fearing the unknown. I began to be okay with death. Because it’s not a final goodbye. I will see my loved ones again.

Another fear I have is spiders.

As I sit here and type, I am not sure if a small one went into my laptop or not. He came down from the ceiling and I swatted him, and now I am not sure where he went. Normally, I’d be away from here, refusing to return until he made HIS return. I have chills at the moment just thinking about him. That always happens when I see a spider. However, I am facing my fear and sitting here.

Or, I used to be afraid of thunderstorms, always thinking that storm would lead to something worse. Don’t get me wrong, when we had bad weather this summer, it was scary. But I wasn’t afraid. I stopped fearing storms a few years ago. I don’t really like them, but I can deal with them a lot better.

I think when I was younger and afraid of certain things, it didn’t allow me to enjoy other things in life. By facing my fears, I have found a new appreciation for things in life, I have gained strength. I may not like something, but it doesn’t mean that I can’t do it, push myself to get around that fear so I am not afraid anymore.

Change, change, change

This really is the year of big changes!

One of the changes I am making is my hair. I have grown it out since 2005/2006. I have had hair trims since then, but not an actual cut. Over the past year and a half, I have cut 3 inches off each time I have gone to get my hair done. Since I don’t go that often, it has been 9 inches in that time.

Goodness! If you can imagine what my hair is like now, just imagine 9 more inches added on! It would be way too long!

About 5 weeks ago, I set up my hair appointment for this month, hoping I could get in before our pictures were taken last Friday. Unfortunately, I could not, so the date is tomorrow.

Dun, dun dun!

I look forward to it so much. I’m not cutting off 3 inches this time. But about 6-8, depending on everything. I love the length it is at (most times), I just cannot curl it anymore and expect it to stay. Or when I do attempt to use the curlers to curl it, the curlers will pop out because it becomes thicker when wrapped around the curlers. And that was something I used to enjoy doing- curling my hair.

Normally, I am apprehensive when I do anything with my hair- have been for the past 6 years. But for the first time in these 6 years, I am fully looking forward to this. I have toyed with the possibility of going even shorter, but I think a gradual change is needed first.

I wore this headband in my hair today. It’s a very thin one that I normally wear when I either have my hair half up, or in a braid. Today, it was all down. I’ve taken it out twice today, because sometimes the back of my hair would come out of it. When I took it out a bit ago to get ready for bed, I came across this huge, huge, huge knot. Or several knots. The headband couldn’t come out because of the knots. At first, I was worried that I wouldn’t get the knots out without breaking more hair. I started slowly running my brush through my hair, working the tangles. It didn’t take long, but they did come out eventually. As I was doing that, I thought to myself, “Yet another reason why I am so glad that I am cutting it tomorrow.”

The tangles are getting bad. I use conditioner, but it doesn’t seem to help that much right when I get out of the shower. So hopefully after tomorrow, it will be better! Can’t wait to show you all!

Randoms

Today (the 9th) is my brother’s birthday. I know we don’t celebrate with you, big bro, but Happy Birthday anyway. It’s crazy to think we haven’t celebrated it in so long. But I am so glad you are still a part of our lives.

I realized yesterday that I have a serious problem when I lose something. Or rather, a very important thing to me. It was my USB drive. It contains tests, quizzes, worksheets, PowerPoint presentations, and other things on it that I created for my classes. And I thought I lost it. Or left it with C. So I began getting anxiety and just hoping it would be found. I was literally calm for 5 minutes on my way to school yesterday, thinking it was in my backpack. When it wasn’t found, I got more anxiety. I didn’t stop thinking about that thing until 24 hours later, when I found it this morning before I headed to school again.

C is a fantastic cook. I can’t tell you everything, because he thinks people will make fun of him. Two people do know what he made, and they both agree that it’s something he should be proud of.

I loved it when I was visiting him. We took turns cooking, cooking together, doing the dishes, cleaning, etc. Well, I did the laundry, only because I had more time on my hands.  

My dad and I were driving up to my brother’s earlier, and this turkey literally flew over my dad’s truck. So I told C about it, and he thought I was nuts. He didn’t believe me that it was a turkey, and thought it was some other bird instead. It turns out, it was a turkey after all.  

Okay, enough random ramblings for the night!

These Dreams…

Heart anyone? Anyone?  

I have had a few teaching dreams for the past month, more so in the past week. The first one I had, it was the first day of school. I was with 6th graders, but I was teaching RRT. I don’t have any clue as to what that is, and I do remember being confused in my dream.

The second one happened earlier this week, about my co-workers, I believe. Not a bad dream, we were just talking like we always do.

The 3rd dream was me showing C around the building (colored rooms, etc.) We didn’t get to my room before I woke up.

The 4th dream was me not only teaching art, but Algebra to unruly high school students. I had to get really stern with one of my students in the dream.

The last dream I had was early this morning. I forgot my P.E. clothes at home, and I was hoping that none of the students would notice that I wouldn’t be able to do P.E. that day. That one was kind of a weird dream for me.

I do wonder if I will have another one tomorrow morning. As time draws nearer, I am getting more and more anxious, more excited, and nervous. Just a little nervous, but really excited. I can’t wait to get in my room and set it up!

Can’t Wrap My Head Around It

I’ve got zucchini bread in the oven. It came from my parents’ garden. I told my Dad that I’d make them some. I was given 2 large zucchini (is there a plural to this?) and my Mom told me it would make a lot. I really think it will make 8 loaves total. Just given what I already know.  

Anyway, while that’s baking, I thought I’d take a moment to blog.

I know there is evil in this world. Unfortunately. However, I just can’t fathom myself ever harming another person- in any way, shape, or form. Are some people made to be that way? Has society played a role in it? I can’t imagine it, I really can’t.

A little over a week ago, a man not far from here went missing. His roommates told police that he just up and left. I guess as they were talking to the roommates, they began to suspect foul play. I’ve read two different articles in the paper about it- one last Saturday (after they found a body and were going to do an autopsy) and then one yesterday, after more of the story was being released to the media.

Two men and a woman are in jail right now. One of the men and the woman are 20 years old. The other man is 25. He is the one who wants a quick and speedy trial so he can go back to prison. Yes, that is correct. He was just released from a correctional facility about 3-ish months ago, and now wants this over with so he can go back.

The man that they killed, he was letting them stay in his apartment. First, it was the woman, whom he introduced to his family as the woman he was dating for only a month. She then introduced him to the two men. This man would do anything for anyone, to help them out. But from what I have read, I think he had enough of them, and had asked them to leave prior to them murdering him.

We don’t know the why yet, but they did hurt him. Then, bound him when he was still alive, drove to another house where one of the murderers has been to before, grabbed some tools, and tool this innocent man out into the country. They placed a bag over him and hit him with the tools. The woman egged the two men on, saying they hit like girls. She’s the one who told them to place the man in a fetal position in a shallow grave. They placed cornstalks and dirt over the grave and left.

The two men returned a day later with paint thinner that one of them had stolen from a hardware store. They dug up the grave and poured it over the body. The coroner has said that the man has burns consistent to what they have said.

How could anyone do that to someone? You may not like them, but is harming them, killing them the answer? The obvious answer to that one is no. I just don’t understand it. Not only is it morally and ethically wrong, but the Bible also tells us it is wrong. How can someone do that and think it’s okay? Did they not grow up believing in what is taught to us in the Bible? Did they not have people in their lives that taught them right from wrong? Maybe those two questions are where the answer lies.

I didn’t know this man who was murdered, but someone lost a brother, a son, a father, a friend. Unfortunately, it goes on every day in our world. I do know that there are still good people out there- because I know quite a bit of them. However, it means we need to be more careful about what we do, who we know.

I don’t have children of my own yet, so tonight when I see my nephews, I’ll hug them. Give them more kisses, to show them that I love them and will always be looking out for them.

Whew! It’s Been Awhile

I can’t even remember the last time I blogged. Probably a month ago sometime. It’s been a very hectic month.

As soon as I got back from seeing C, I had a little over a week to start moving. I think I blogged about that, so maybe it’s been a little under a month since I last updated you all.

I feel like more than a month has passed since I came back from Virginia. It almost feels like two, to me. But at the same time, so much has kept me busy. So busy that last night when baking banana bread, I had to go out and get ingredients- TWICE in a matter of minutes. I thought I had flour and vanilla on hand. And then, when I came back and sat down, I had a moment of panic- thinking I had forgotten the dinner date I have Thursday night with a couple of friends.

That’s awful!

I’m so focused lately. On about 4 different things. I’m here, I’m there, I’m doing this, I’m doing that.

My apartment is coming along nicely. I finally have the majority of all boxes out of here. I have a few more boxes to go through, and of course all of my art supplies to go through, as well. I am waiting on a hutch that will probably be moved in after I get back from heading to Virginia next week. I am going to put my art supplies in there.

I started running again tonight. I felt great until I almost got to the end and then wanted to puke. But I stuck it out and now I feel very great!

Now, I am going to go work on some other things. Have a great night!