July 23rd, 2010

I am going back in time to a night 2 years ago.

A night that holds a special place in my relationship, in my heart, and in my mind forever.

DB and I were talking on the phone that night. He was in a hotel (I thought in Singapore?), having to check out in a bit to get back to the ship. It was 9:45 PM-my time, meaning it was 11:45 AM-his time. At 9:50, he realized he needed to go, and it got really hard.

I started crying, and he started babbling about where he was going next, when we would talk again, etc. He had never done that before, so I knew how much it affected him as well. I knew I had to tell him, couldn't let this moment slip by me. And then, I blurted out, "I love you." He replied, "I love you, too." I can't remember what else we said in those few precious moments, but that much will always stay with me.

He says that it technically doesn't count as today, because it's not the 24th yet. I told him he was wrong, it was today for me. :)

So, while it hasn't always been a bed of roses, it has been a memorable 3 years, 5 months. and 9 days of being together.

When Life Gives You Zucchini...

Make Zucchini bread, Zucchini lasagna, and Zucchini cream pie!

:D

Seriously, my dad has this beautiful garden, and it has produced a lot of zucchini, among other vegetables. Some were massive. One large zucchini (which was probably about 3 smaller ones combined) produced 8 loaves of zucchini bread, and I only got about halfway through it!

Instead of using noodles, use zucchini for zucchini lasagna- it's good! Tastes great, and it's healthy for us!

Now, I am baking zucchini cream pie (for reals, look it up). It's like a sugar cream pie (I believe it's a southern thing, but my brother always loved it growing up), but with zucchini and a little sugar instead of a lot.

Which brings me to the point of my post...(in a round about way)...

When C came home almost a month ago, the day after he came home we went to look at a rental house. We had already been talking about it for a week, We really wanted out of my apartment, as we had both been tired of renting apartments, but weren't quite ready for a house of our own just yet.

This house literally fell into our laps a month ago. It's perfect! It's being completely renovated- new kitchen- AHH! My heart belongs in the kitchen, so I am ecstatic about that. Way more than ecstatic. I can finally keep out things like my Kitchenaid, the blender, etc, and not have to worry about putting something else away.

I see all these cute things, and think, "that will look cute in our new house."

So...I gave my apartment complex our 30 day notice we will be moving out, and into our new place on the 1st.

I get a call yesterday that they aren't going to be done by the 1st, can we move in the 15th? What will that do to our current living situation? I talked to my property manager, and she said that this apartment is already rented on the 1st. Alright, so we're kind of homeless for 15 or so days.

Move in date just happens to fall right when school starts for me.

Both sets of parents said we can move in with them for a couple of weeks, put our major stuff in storage, keep out what we need.

I refuse to stress over something that I cannot control. I will continue to pack, continue to work on my lesson plans, getting it all ready for the big move(s).

In a way, it's nice not having to pay another month of rent here, which means when I get paid on Friday, I will have extra income! C and I have talked about it, and we are going to use it to pay some bills, which is fine. Take care of that, less we have to continue paying on.

Surprisingly, I feel pretty calm about everything. I'm packing slowly. I know I will need to leave out some nice clothes for school and church, some to play around in, and leave out my school stuff, my drawing supplies, etc. We will get it all taken care of, God is with us.

Now, I think both of my pies are completely done!

Ciao!

I wish...

I had the answers.

I felt more confident and secure.

I trusted more.

I actually knew without guessing.

I could read minds.

I could let certain things roll off my back.

I were more nonchalant.

I didn't think the thoughts I am thinking.

I weren't so impatient.

I were anonymous.

I wasn't a planner.

I weren't so structured.

I could turn my thoughts off.

I could just say what I am thinking without people judging me.

I didn't keep everything inside.

I would talk more.

I would speak up more when something bothers me.

...I just knew.

Eggless Chocolate Chip Cookies

Yum!

That is all I have to say.

I have been craving chocolate chip cookies for almost a week now. We just got back Friday evening, and have gotten only a few necessities from the grocery store. I decided tonight that I wanted chocolate chip cookies, but we had no eggs.

What was I to do??

I looked online (thank goodness for the Internet!), and found a recipe for eggless chocolate chip cookies. They are great! Even C likes them (he was eating the batter with a spoon a bit ago).

Even though it's almost the end of June, for over a week now, I have been thinking it should really be July by now. It has been a busy summer. Things are slowing down a little, but not by much. My summer class ends in 2 weeks, art camp is over on Friday, and C and I have finally moved in together.

But, wait! That's not all!

(I feel like the announcer dude on the Price Is Right)

"Tell them what else they have won, Bob."

Alright, so get this.

I have 4 training sessions between mid July and early August that I will be doing for school.
I need to get back into my classroom, to get everything ready for the coming year.
I need to re-work some units, add to others for this coming year.
I need to get every unit ready so that I can begin to upload it to my lesson planner.
I have decided to open some of my Zentangle pieces for the upcoming fair, so I need to go through those and decide which ones to put in, and then frame them.
AND...
We found a house to rent! Oh happy day! (More on that in a minute)
So this means I *we* need to pack...again.

The move home from Virginia went well! Very minor things happened that someday we can look back on and laugh- stories to tell our children. Although, driving a Uhaul pulling a car behind with a tow dolly is not fun at all. I felt like we were at a rock concert at times because we were head bangin' so much. The mountains weren't so bad- there were times I was nervous, but I knew that C would get us out of there safely.

We got back Friday night, and had an appointment to go look at a house we have been talking about for about a week. A family bought the house (which was a foreclosed home) and is fixing it up. I'm talking, pretty much everything is new. The kitchen will be awesome when it is done- bigger than what we have now.  More space, which is what we need. I want this place to be both of ours- not just all of my stuff in one place.  It really is a great house for a great price, and I can't wait until we move in August 1st.

I need to finish baking my cookies before C eats all the batter. :D I kid, he stopped eating it awhile ago.

Weird Dream

I had this dream right before I woke up this morning that was incredibly strange. I think I was some kind of undercover agent. I remember someone stealing my wallet that my identification in it and being upset about my various identities.

So, then, I was eating red, white and blue peppermint patty bites. You know, like the Hershey bites, the Reese's bites, etc. But they were patriotic. I somehow got blue on my khaki pants, and had just commented to someone that I couldn't believe I did that. This woman says, "I have done that before. I got out the stain using a caramel apple pie." I must have looked at her funny, because she said it again. In my dream, I decided I would need to try this, and that she would be a new friend.

What a strange dream! And to remember the last part- especially in color- awesome! I still don't know why I dreamt of food, though.

Zentangles

Some recent photos of zentangles.

A Walk Down Memory Lane

In preparation for C's arrival, I have been condensing things in my apartment. Either I am putting things in totes to put in storage, or they are being given away/being sold at a garage sale. I have a couple of totes that have items from my childhood in them. One of the totes has graduation cards from high school, my cap and gown, and other mementos from high school. I went through my graduation cards (I can only surmise that I kept them because it was people in my life?) this afternoon. I kept those from very close friends, my grandparents, and some family. What struck me as sad is that as I went through them, I found about a handful from people who have passed away in the last decade- a couple passed away within a year of my graduating high school.

I have started to go through my clothes again, but haven't gotten very far. I need to get a couple more totes to put more items from my childhood in. I think I'm giving my parents my very nice desk/hutch combo that I just bought a year ago. I haven't used it in months, plus it's taking up space in the living room. I wanted to move it upstairs, but it's incredibly heavy. I'll put my office items in a three-drawer cabinet, using the art desk I already have set up stairs. It will free up just a bit more room for us both. Because I don't have a lot of pantry space (a huge annoyance!), all of the food items are currently taking up the 1 shelf, and using the 3-tiered metal shelf I have in there. I'm going to go through books that I have in the spare bedroom, box up what I don't want to keep out and put in storage, and use the 2 small bookcases for storing food on. At least, 1 of those will fit for sure in the pantry.

C and I were talking the other day about our items. He doesn't have a lot of kitchen items- which is a plus for me. He is bringing his 2 computers, a printer, his living room furniture, 2 small entertainment centers, a bed, frame and headboard, and that might be it. He doesn't have a lot in general, but I want him to feel that it is his place as well as mine. Plus, when I moved in, I knew I would be there by a year by myself. Although, I didn't know if we would be moving or not.

I finally got my KitchenAid all set up- it only took me almost 6 months. :) I didn't have room before and now I do. I just need to order a cover for it. Currently, I am on Amazon looking for one that I like that goes with my theme in the kitchen. That, and trying to find something close to the colors I have in there- I wish I had thought to check the place where I got them from a few months ago. I really like the colors I picked out.

All in good time. :)

Happy Birthday!

Today, my Escape turns 1!

Well, it's not really a year old, but I bought it a year ago today! I remember sitting in the salesman's office, signing papers, excited to finally have it. And it's been a great year. It has taken me out to Virginia to see C, to meet C in Gatlinburg, to work many times, and to top it- even my Grandmother likes it! I think, if she could drive more, she would be driving it.

So, anyways, I've put about 12,000 miles on it in the year that I've had it. I hit 10,000 just before our trip to Gatlinburg. I may be putting on 1,600 more by the end of the month, if I take it to go out and help C move back home.

I'm still in awe of the fact that in just 2 short weeks from tomorrow, we will be on our way home, to my apartment again. This time, we'll be sleeping in the same bed. I'm still in awe that the entire last year flew by. I do remember where I was a year ago, wondering when/if he'd be coming back.

I'm anxious for this, ready for it to happen. The closer we get, the more impatient I get. Although, the more nauseated and stressed I get. See, we have been looking into renting houses. As well as C finding a job. Neither are in our favor yet, and I'm making myself sick over it. I think the biggest thing I feel is that I don't want to let him down.

This is going to mean changes to our relationship. Not bad ones, but ones where we bot have to get used to being around each other more than a few days at a time. I'll have to get used to his snoring (he says I do, but NO! He does!), he'll have to get used to the fact that I rarely sleep without blankets (I like to be all bundled up), that I try not to waste things, etc. But all in all, we pretty much know how each other is, so it's not like this will be a huge shock.

I love my mom, but sometimes she'll say things like, "well, you know, this isn't contractual. If it doesn't work out, then you aren't out anything." I just look at her and think, "after 3 years, you have to say this?" Like she thinks it won't work out. They like C, so I don't get why she says this. Or tries to push houses on me after I have told her time and time again, "We are not ready for that yet. I am not ready for that yet. I can dream, but I know where I am at with finances and I don't feel comfortable taking that on on my own. Plus, he doesn't have a job just yet and we don't know where he will find one at." I literally just told her this tonight. I love her, but when she says things like this (and the above start of this paragraph), it bugs the crap out of me.

How did me talking about my Escape turn into this? Ugh, sorry. It was all on my mind. It will all be okay, I know. I'm going to bed, lots to do tomorrow to get my apartment ready for my man and his stuff! :D

Branching Out

I have decided that I am going to take the initiative to become more involved in the arts. Not that I'm not already, I just need to do more things for me that are art related. Specifically, it involves my Zentangles. I have begun to draw more and more of them in the last few months. This is something I enjoy, something that makes me feel better whenever anything is bothering me. I want to push myself further, want to take it to the next level, and begin to sell pieces to people. Sure, not everyone wants to buy then, but I don't solely create art for them. I create it for myself, and if someone wants to buy something that was a piece of me, and my life, then so be it. :)

I definitely need to post more pictures to either this site or my Facebook. Actually, I need to create a Facebook site just for that, so I can let others view them. I'll think about that one for awhile. Now, to change my background image on here.

Ouch! The Pain! Ack!

That's pretty much my vocabulary the last couple of days. I am pretty positive I have TMD in my jaw. I think it's been with me for a few years now, but the last couple of days it has been really bad. By that, I mean, it's up by my ear, feels like I have an earache- which I never get.

I am miserable, not eating a lot, or talking a lot if I can help it. There are some things I can do for it, which I will be doing. This explains why I always get sore when in the dentist's chair.My mouth is incredibly small.

Sa-Sa-Saturday

Hello, lovelies!

I hope you are all having a great Saturday evening.

I just took a dose of Imitrex, my headache medicine, for the first time in about 3 months. I haven't had to use it, but this headache is pretty nasty. Oh, I've still gotten headaches, but those have been more tolerable. This one is not. I ended up falling asleep for about 2 hours, and when I woke up, the headache was still there. The Imitrex made me feel funny not long after I first took it. I got really hot and felt like I was going to get sick. Which is when I decided to lay down for a bit. I must have ran out of asprin, so I had to go get some. I took it almost an hour ago, and strangest thing- the headache is pretty much gone now.

Other than the headache, it's been a good day. C was here a week ago (left this past Monday), and it was so nice to have him here. He is done in the military, last official day is coming up soon. I cannot believe it has almost been year since he has been back. I was reflecting on that today. It seems like yesterday, in a way. I remember the warmth of last June, of being at the hotel in Virginia, staying out there for 2-3 weeks in his apartment. I will miss Virginia, but I will not miss the distance. It will be nice having us both in the same place for more than a few days or weeks.

And actually, it's time for me to let the cat out of the bag.

We're moving in together. Everyone knows, we've talked to our parents about it. His were just a little more accepting than mine were, but it's like we have talked about (my mom and I)- they know him, they know his family.

We do already know what each other is like, but not on an every day basis.

So, in about a month, my apartment will be different. We decided to stay here for the next year, in case he gets a job in another state.

I Haven't Forgotten You

I am still up, because I wasn't tired yet and my mind was thinking other things. I just looked at the tine and almost to the minute, it has been 4 years since my grandfather passed away. I remember it all like it was yesterday.

I had gone to spend time with a friend, and her friend on the 26th. They were both getting married, so we ran some errands. I came back to my grandpa's hospital room later that night, and he had told my grandma and my cousin he was ready to go.

I guess it didn't really register with me (I still denied it/accepted it up until he passes away) until the next morning at breakfast after church when they were talking about him being ready to go. We got to the hospital, ANC everyone else talked to people in the lobby. I wanted to see him- partly for my own closure. I walked up the 3 flights of stairs by myself and went into his room. I held his hand like I had done numerous times before, noticed how soft they were. I squeezed his hand z d told him I loved him. Silently, I was begging him to squeeze my hand. And then he did, saying clear as a bell that he loved me, too. I carry that with me to this day.

My dad told me that he knew grandpa was getting ready to go, because his breathing changed as did his skin colo. I was so focused on denying that it was actually happening that I missed those details. After all, he had been at death's door before and came back to us.

I have tried not to think about it all week. But now that the minute is approaching, and I am not doing anything else to occupy my mind, I am thinking about it. When the phone rang at 2:52 that morning, I knew. I knew we either didn't have much time or he had already passed. The nurse called to say he was taking his final breaths and to get there as soon as possible. So I called my sister, woke get up and told her to get to the hospital. We were there within 10 minutes, and he hac passed not long after that call.

Even though he wasn't the grandpa I knew the 4 years leading up to his death, I still have many great memories of my grandfather. I don't cry often anymore, but right now for sure. Even though it has been 4 years, it doesn't make the pain go away, nor does it lessen the memories I do have.

At the moment, I want my mom. I know I can't take away her pain, and she can't take away mine, but we will have each other to lean on. I have to go to bed. My head hurts from crying, my heart aches, and I am just ready to go to sleep right now. Maybe I will dream of him.

Wherever you are, poppy, know that you are still loved and missed every single day.

Zentangles!

I have some new tangles to post! It is my hope to one dag go to their conference. I just need to dream it, plan it, do it.

Oh my goodness!

Ah! I leave for vacation in about 36 hours! I'm excited to go on another adventure, another place with C. I am currently sick with a cold at the moment. I've struggled with it a lot in the past week, but have had one building for the past month. I ended up losing my voice a week ago and stayed home last Friday to rest. My throat hurt a lot. I felt better by Sunday and by Tuesday, I was losing my voice again. I don't feel awful this week, just tired. I know I will be way too excited tomorrow night, but I will get some sleep.

It's hard to believe that a year ago we were planning this trip for last May, and then everything went up in the air. It seems like the year flew by.

Looking ahead, C is done with the military in 2 months, and will be home in 3 months. That's so crazy! But I am ready!

Let’s Do This!

I am the biggest I have ever been in my life. I’ve struggled with weight for about 11 years now. At first, it was me picking at what I ate, always eating salads when I went out (because I didn’t want to gain weight). Then, it was living with a bulimic and a recovering bulimic. I never starved myself. I never made myself sick. Personally, that is disgusting. I have a very sensitive gag reflex as it is, so I can’t imagine making myself do that all the time.

Then, when I got away from that, I still kind of watched what I ate. I was careful to not make full meals. Or eat soups. For the longest time, it was my go-to thing. I honestly love soup. Not because it’s easy. But because soup tastes good to me. I can think of 2 soups that I do not like- chicken noodle soup and tomato soup. Tomato soup because it’s bland; chicken noodle soup (in a can, mind you) because it’s too salty. I don’t like a lot of salt. So I am not one to put salt on things. In fact, the only time I use salt is if a recipe calls for it.

I’ve blogged before about becoming too sedentary. It’s too easy to say, “I’m too tired, I’ll do it tomorrow.” Or, “I’m not that hungry, I’ll have a sandwich.” It’s so easy to put it off.

Way too easy.

I am way unhappy about the way I look these days. And I have no one to blame but myself. I have a love/hate relationship with my body. I’ve learned to love it over time, but at the same time, I don’t necessarily like what I’ve become. I used to freak out at the sudden change in the scale when I’d step on it. Which used to be every morning. My mom used to worry because I was on the scale every morning. I didn’t want to gain weight.

For me, the weight I am currently at (which seriously, according to others, is not bad) is not a good weight for me. And it makes me sad/unhappy to know that clothes I’ve had for a while now are getting snug. Also, it’s embarrassing to admit that. I bought this shirt from Old Navy back in 2005. It’s a nice dress shirt that I wore from time to time until 2008. At least, I think. I know I haven’t worn it in the last couple of years because I don’t remember it being a part of the newer wardrobe that I wore. (I try to change up what I wear to school, but failing at it lately). So, anyways, I wanted to wear it a couple of weeks ago. And guess what? It doesn’t look right on me anymore. It would not be good to wear something that doesn’t look right/doesn’t fit right. So it is now in my pile of things to either put on a garage sale or give away.

In a way, I reasoned it by saying to myself, “I’ve had this for 7 years (crazy, right???), and I haven’t worn it in the last 4, so it’s time.” The other part of me says, “I can’t believe I no longer can wear this without it looking bad.”

Right now, I don’t need to buy larger clothes. Everything still fits, even if it’s snug. But I’m about to change that. A transformation of my life. Of my eating habits. I don’t want to be this sedentary person anymore.

A few days ago, we started Lent. I remember what I gave up last year (getting on Facebook) and remembered when I broke it (when the earthquake hit Japan). But I still tried to keep up with it. I had no clue until 2 days ago what I wanted to give up for Lent. And then it hit me- excuses. I don’t want to say to myself every day, “Eh, there’s tomorrow. I can do it then.” I want to do it today. I want to work out every day, eat better (not that I eat out a lot). I want to take the time to prepare my meals (actual cooking, not from a box). But I want it to be healthier.

I was joking with myself Thursday night when I was on Pinterest. I see all these recipes I want to try (some desserts, because I have a sweet tooth). But at the same time, just looking at them has somehow fulfilled my cravings of them. FYI, I don’t eat a lot of sweets. I like to bake more than anything, but I hardly eat what I bake. Weird, I know. I think it’s the joy I get from baking that does it for me. But anyways, I was joking with myself that I just gained about 10 pounds just from looking at recipes on Pinterest that night.

I’m not doing this for anyone but myself. I HAVE to do this for myself. And it excites me to do so. A couple of nights ago, I began thinking about WeightWatchers. Not only do they help people lose weight, but they also help people eat better, learn to use lower in fat food products. A few minutes later, my sis texted me to tell me she was thinking about doing WW, and wanted to know if I would do it with her. It’s like we both had the exact same thought at the same time. I told her I was interested in it. We both want to do it online. We’re going to talk about it some more, but I think we will do it. We’re both ready to do this.

Not only that, but I’ve begun to do Zumba. It’s on the Wii (it’s fun, it’s dancing, and if I mess up, no one is there to watch ). I enjoy Zumba, I just slacked off for a couple of weeks. Hence, where the excuses start coming in. This will be a huge lifestyle change for me, one that I know I can do. I can and will become less sedentary and more active in life. I keep telling myself, I want to run a 5k. How am I supposed to do this I cannot get more active? How am I supposed to do this if I do not push myself? I need this, I need to keep motivating myself.

While I will not post my actual weight, I do plan on keeping this blog up to date with my transformation progress. I am holding myself accountable (I don’t need someone else to do it for me), as I am the only one who can do this for ME, the only one who can change the things I don’t like about ME.

So let’s do this!

Philly Cooking Cream

I have bought 2 different kinds of their cooking cream on 2 different occasions in the past month.

I am not impressed with them at all.

I can't remember the first one I tried, but the second one, lemon-something, tasted like the first one. And on top of that, they both tasted bland. I was disappointed because I love lemon and got my hopes up on that one at least.

I even put it in a recipe that was on top of the lid.

Boo. :(

Nightmare

I don't know what it is, but I haven been getting at least one bad nightmare a month for about 6 months or so. I usually wake up thinking someone is in my apartment. Early this morning, I didn't feel that way as much as being scared. I felt anxiety kick in, like a heavy weight sitting on my chest. I was not even fully awake, but I had to slow my breathing and tell myself that it was only a dream.

I must have an intense fear that someone is going to break in. Maybe that book I read before going to bed didn't help, either...

New Tangle

This is one I have been working on this week. I have just a bit more ready to be colored, but I will post pictures of that one later. Very modern looking and I like it! I used colors in the green family (teal, blue green, turquoise, etc.). Enjoy!

An update...

When I haven't done any good baking in awhile or even Zentangling, I start getting urges to do it. Maybe because those two things help soothe/calm/relax me. Maybe because they are a part of me, and I am a part of them.

I thoroughly enjoy cooking and baking and drawing Zentagles. One of my goals is to do more of both of those. I don't care if I have to do a little zentangling each day. I ended up ordering a new Zentangle book today, plus a raw art journaling book, and some keurig k-cups.

With Zentangles, I can shut the world out and just do my own thing for awhile. I actually started working on a birthday card for my mom tonight. It's almost finished, I just have to add some more touches to it. It's not fancy, but the fact that I made it and I know that she enjoys looking at Zentangles, is what it is all about. She has already asked if she can frame it.

Another goal I am setting for myself is to start working out again. I don't know how it happened, but I have become more sedentary than I like. Occasionally, I might have fast food. But it's rare. I just am way less active, and I don't like it. While I try not to use this word, I am throwing it out there. I am putting myself on a diet. There. I said it. The entire phrase and word.

I bought a Zumba dance game for the Wii for my mom, sis, and I to use. I started it tonight, and oh my goodness! It is intense. But I really enjoyed it, so I can tell that it will be beneficial to me.

This was a huge ramble, but some of what has been on my mind lately. :) Have a great week!

A Look Back…

I know we are 5 days into the new year, but this is the first time I am able to really sit down and write- to all 3 of my readers. Just kidding, there may be more than that, I don’t know. But I do thank you for reading this.

I don’t always post everything that is going on in my life, because well, I like to keep some things private. I am going to reflect on 2011 right now.

I started off the year with a bang. Well, okay, we didn’t. I was in Japan, with C. We sang Karaoke (does anyone else think that is spelled wrong???) down by the base on December 31st, 2010. We were both asleep by midnight, I believe. I was still fighting jet lag, and would be for a couple more days.

I keep thinking of Japan lately. As in, I would love to go back there. I truly enjoyed my trip immensely. Maybe that is because I had a wonderful novice guide with me. In all seriousness, I want to go back someday. I enjoyed the country, the scenery, everything about it. A year later, I can still see the ocean perfectly in my mind as we walked to catch the train. It was beautiful and peaceful. When I left Japan on January 10th, I didn’t know when C and I would see each other again. He wasn’t sure he would be coming back to the states just yet. The downside to an extreme LDR (long distance romance) is the fact that we never knew when we’d see each other again. I knew either on my birthday or not long after that he was coming back to the states for sure.

February came and went. We celebrated our 2 year anniversary, and I decided I needed a different phone- considering my old one’s battery would drain in about 5 minutes or less.

In March, I hung out with C’s best friend, his wife, and their son one night. I played games online with C, his brother, and his best friend. It was neat to hear C, even if I couldn’t see him. A week later, Japan had suffered a devastating tragedy when an earthquake struck Tokyo. C was okay, but he eventually went out to sea. Thank you, to everyone who kept him in your prayers. His parents flew over, only to fly back a few days later because C was called to duty.

And then about mid April, his plans to come home were suddenly up in the air. No one had any idea what was going on, and I couldn’t make it better for him. The worst case scenario would have been he stayed there for the rest of his time in the service. Which meant almost another year at that point. The earliest he may have been able to come home was Christmas 2011. So we were preparing for it.

I landed my first full-time job in early May, and I enjoy what I do immensely. Sadly, C’s grandmother passed away in late May. It was completely unexpected. C talked to his parents right after it happened (they were able to get a Red Cross message to him), and he didn’t think they would let him come home. But the morning of the funeral viewing, C’s mom called to tell me he was on his way home. I was so thankful he was able to say goodbye to his grandmother. We spent 5 days together, and again, we weren’t sure if he was coming back to the states, but it wasn’t looking like it. He went back overseas on June 1st.

On June 9th, I woke up wondering if he would be coming back soon. On June 10th, I got a text from him at 3 in the morning saying he was on his way home. It was the best text ever! And so began our shorter LDR. I’ve been out there a few times, and have loved it every time I have gone out. It’s pretty, peaceful AND the ocean is right there. I’ve seen 2 oceans because of him- the Atlantic and the Pacific.

I’ve been camping with my family, celebrated my Grandmother’s 80th birthday in October, spent Thanksgiving with C and his family, and had 4 Christmases this year with C (between his family and mine). While there are still rifts in my family, a majority of us put our differences aside for the sake of our family and were able to have a lovely Christmas together.

I used to follow this blog of a man who had some form of cancer. He and his wife (he was in his early 30’s, I believe) decided to travel the United States, riding to their adventures. I can’t remember what the blog was called, but I do know that he didn’t want to have any regrets in life. His motto was, “Today was my best day.” Even if it wasn’t his best day, he found something about it that made it his best day. He passed away not too long ago. While I didn’t know him, I enjoyed reading about the adventures of he and his wife, as they spent time together. I was touched by his story, moved by his outlook on life. I’m an optimistically positive person, but he has helped how I have looked at life. Even when I am having a down day, I always tell myself, “Today was my best day.” And it helps.

I know I haven’t touched on everything that happened this year, but that is a huge majority of it. 2011 was a great year, a year of firsts, a year of big changes, new things to come. It made me really look forward to 2012. I have never been one to say, “This year has sucked! I can’t wait until next year is here!” I always want to say to those who feel that way, “Change your life NOW. Don’t wait until the new year to do it. You are in control of your destiny, so do something about it.” God leads us in the right direction, but ultimately, he leaves it to us to decide if we want to make our lives better or not.

There are many things I hope to accomplish in the next year. I don’t want to have “resolutions” but I want to write letters to myself a few months into the future, as if I had already done it. Maybe this will help me accomplish those goals.

Here’s to a new year, a better you!

Playing Around...

With a new app on my iPod. It's called instagr.am. I downloaded it yesterday while waiting for the shuttle to pick me up from the airport, and am just now playing with it.