"I Said, Baby, You're Not Lost"

"Cause you are not alone. I'm always there with you. And we'll get lost together. Til the light comes pouring through. Cause when you feel like you're done, and the darkness has won. Babe, you're not lost. When your world is crashing down and you cannot bear the cross. I said, baby, you're not lost."

I love Michael Buble. He has such an amazing voice. This song of his speaks to me. I have it on my iPod, but I just heard it when I was watching NCIS while I was uploading photos to order from Snapfish. It reminded me of C. When thing are tough, he's there. When things are tough on his end, I'm there. He's the only person I want to spend my life getting lost with.

That kind of reminds me of when I spent time with him a couple of months ago. We were looking for a destination, and turned right, thinking it was in that direction. We walked for a bit before we realized that either we were in the wrong direction or we needed to turn completely around. So we turned around, and within 2 minutes, we spotted the destination. We both just started laughing.

I'm always asked how I do it, because it's hard to be away from the one you love. Yes, I agree, it is. People tell me that I am so strong and courageous for being in a long distance relationship. There are times when I want to fall apart, when I completely want to give in for the night and have a good cry. And I have cried. I'm not going to say it's always a bed of roses, because it is challenging. But in order to overcome those challenges, we've worked together, albeit far away. I've never once doubted him, and he's never doubted me. That was the first huge hurdle we had to get through. Not every LDR (long distance relationship) can get through it, because it is hard not to have doubts. Believe me, I have heard stories from others. Patience is another challenge. My kind of LDR isn't like a usual LDR. There have been many times when I get more emails than phone calls or Skype dates. And there have been times when it's been solely email that it could be more than a week at a time. I know he hasn't forgotten about me or anyone else that he cares about. He's just busy doing more important things. And I get it. I understand why he's doing what he's doing. That is his first priority, as it should be.

But it's memories like the one I just typed about that keep me going. Through the hard times, those are what cheer me up when I cannot talk to him. The memories that we have made together are very important. I carry them in my heart.

Never, ever look at any kind of LDR in terms of negativity. I've always remained positive and upbeat. I've always told myself (and him, as well), "This isn't forever; this is temporary." And I'm right. So it's helped to be positive, upbeat, have a great attitude towards it all. I can't change it, but I can control my actions, my thoughts.I am rambling, I know.

This has been one of the hardest weeks in our 2 year, 1 month, and 5 day relationship. There have been about 3 of them that I can remember. I know I won't stop worrying until he is back here. But at the same time, I know he's safe.

Tonight, though, was one of those nights where I gave in and cried a little. Michael Buble's song did it for me. It's hard not to worry, it's hard not to be stressed, scared, unsure. I feel helpless. I can't do anything on this end for him besides pray. I can't physically be there.

Things will be okay, though. And soon, he'll be back here. In the meantime, I've got things to keep me busy and focused on here. It will make the time go by so much faster.